Child of Mine

I have the best kids. I love them all the same amount but for different reasons. They all have their own personalities (that a lot of times don't mesh together well). They all have their own strengths and weaknesses. Some need constant attention, some are fine with little attention, some wait and wait and wait for attention until they need it so bad that they can't stand it.

My oldest daughter, Lilly is probably the best kid I could ask for. I mean she has her moments but all kids do. She is so incredibly smart. She's such a great student. She was "student of the month" last month. All her teachers have nothing but good things to say about her. She is always so willing to help out at home. I hardly ever hear her complain when I ask her to get me something (even if its the 50th time I've asked her). She is so good to her sisters. She loves her brother even when he's so mean to her. She's always wanting to take care of the baby to "give me a break". She's hardly ever in trouble (except for her smart mouth lately).

I've been thinking lately though that she isn't getting the attention she needs. I'm always so busy with the baby or different issues with the other kids. She never complains but I can always tell when she needs some special time. She can't wait til dinner time cause that's our time together. She helps me with dinner every night. And she never lets me forget. But I do see her asking her dad to play with her a lot. She is constantly "begging" for his attention. And he always finds something to do with her but it's like she can't get enough from him. I think they need more special time together. I always try to find time when just me and her can go to the store or the mall or out to eat. I think I may need to stop hogging her and share her with her dad :)

I just hope that she doesn't grow up and feel like she has to try and be perfect all the time. I want her to know it's ok to make mistakes and do things wrong sometimes. But I also worry that my other kids will hear me talk about what a great kid she is and feel like they are less loved. That's a hard balance to keep. Making sure all 4 kids feel just as loved and as important as the others. I mean I know they are all equally loved and all important. But I know how kids can take things wrong sometimes. Lilly has always been a fast learner. My oldest has always struggled with areas in school. He's very smart, he just has a hard time focusing. I am constantly trying to make sure I praise Lilly for all her great work but at the same time making sure I don't make my son feel like he isn't good enough. It's a lot harder than it sounds.

I'm not sure where I was going with all this. Maybe I just wanted to tell how great my kids are :)
Or maybe it came out of the events this morning....

Lilly wanted sponge curlers in her hair last night. She's never really had her hair curled. She has had her hair "crimped" and she hated it!!!

So anyway she loved having the curlers in last night

But this morning after I took the curlers out and fixed her hair she hated it. Right as I finished her hair it was time to leave for school. I had to push her out the door. I didn't get a picture but it was cute. She put her hood up and with tears rolling down her face she got in the van and headed to school. Now I'm going to worry about her all day. I should have just pulled it all up into a ponytail but I didn't have time :(
I hope she makes it all day :)