I am the second oldest of four girls. We are all so different but still alike in many ways. My youngest sister and I are the most alike. There's very few differences in our personalities.
I have been noticing how much my kids are like me and my sisters. I have four kids (1 boy and 3 girls).
Connor, my oldest, reminds me so much of my older sister, Jen. He's moody sometimes. He plays with his sisters but not often. He'd rather play by himself. He's a little shy at times. He's a follower not a leader. >>> But he is a lot like me also. He's sensitive. His feelings get hurt so easily. He has a temper. He is constantly trying to please everyone. He worries non stop.
Lilly, my second oldest, reminds me a lot of myself in so many ways. She does very well in school. She loves writing stories. She helps with her younger sisters all the time. But she is so hard on herself. She is very self critical. I think sometimes she feels more like the oldest than the second oldest.
Kerri, my third, reminds me of my younger sister, Kim. She's such a clown. She loves to make people happy (but not laugh, if they laugh at her she cries). She's always making silly faces and making up silly dances. >>> On the flip side she is like me. She's a perfectionist. Everything has to be "just right" and HER way. I was always considered the "problem child"......Kerri is definitely my most "difficult" child.
Bella, my youngest, is just like my younger sister, Sara. She is the sweetest baby you will ever meet. Plus she's the baby of the family and she takes advantage of that. She knows everyone is going to give her what she wants cause she's the cute little baby. >>> But she has a temper, just like me. She is a biter just like I was when I was little. She can be a mean little snot when she doesn't get her way.
My sisters and I have all grown up to be great women. We love our families. So whether my kids grow up to be like me or one of my sisters I will be happy with who they become.
Friday, April 20, 2012
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Will it ever end?
First I'd like to lead off with this for those of you who don't know what autism really means. It's not the "Rain Man" type of thing for every person. This is the best website I could find that explained it to where I thought everyone could understand it: http://helpguide.org/mental/autism_spectrum.htm
Today Kerri had her check up at the Knights of Columbus at Cardinal Glennon. It was her 6 month check up to see how things have been since she's started school.
Socially, we have noticed some improvement. She has friends at school. Which is very exciting! She talks about them all the time. She loves going to school. It takes her a while to let go of us in the mornings but she has never had a fit. Her teachers say she's quiet. And if the kids approach her she will play with them. She still would rather play alone. But there has been progress. We had a meeting with her speech teacher last week who said that she thinks it would be ok for her to end speech services.
Her behavior has been better. We have not had very many extreme meltdowns from her. She still has them but I've noticed they are more out of frustration now. Where as before, sometimes they were for no reason. So at least now there's a reason!
Some things that have not gotten better or that have even gotten worse are her fears and her transitions/flexibility issues. She seems to be scared of everything lately. She refuses to go to the bathroom by herself, or go into her bedroom by herself. She is still scared to death of bugs. She still has a hard time with transitions or doing things a different way. If we are going somewhere and we take a different route she will always notice and very often have a fit. If she gets to school even a little late and class has already started it's harder for her to peel away from us.
So today was going to be a big day! I have come to the conclusion that there's nothing wrong with Kerri. I mean that's what everyone keeps telling me. They all just keep saying she's just unique. She just has little quirks. I thought I was going to go to this appt. and the doctors were going to tell me the same thing and it would all be over! The most I was expecting was a diagnosis of OCD. I was so ready for it to be over. I had prepared myself for what they were going to say. I was ready. I could live with the fact that Kerri is just "unique" (or at most had OCD). No more doctors! No more worrying!!
WRONG!!!!!!
So we get to the appt. and the student dr comes in and asks how things have been going. I explain everything as I did above. Then the doctor came in and Kerri told her she was too loud. The doctor was in there for about 10-15 minutes and said she clearly noticed a few signs that makes her want to do another evaluation. So we go back in a couple weeks for that. The doctor also thinks that Kerri should not have ended speech services. We will decide more on that when we go for her evaluation.
So now I feel like I've gone through two extremes today....excitement to finally have this all over with and then the let down when I find out it's NOT over yet. I honestly feel like I'm starting at the beginning again, trying to convince people of what I'm seeing and what's going on, trying to deal with the worry. I am completely drained tonight. I don't even know what I think anymore.
Today Kerri had her check up at the Knights of Columbus at Cardinal Glennon. It was her 6 month check up to see how things have been since she's started school.
Socially, we have noticed some improvement. She has friends at school. Which is very exciting! She talks about them all the time. She loves going to school. It takes her a while to let go of us in the mornings but she has never had a fit. Her teachers say she's quiet. And if the kids approach her she will play with them. She still would rather play alone. But there has been progress. We had a meeting with her speech teacher last week who said that she thinks it would be ok for her to end speech services.
Her behavior has been better. We have not had very many extreme meltdowns from her. She still has them but I've noticed they are more out of frustration now. Where as before, sometimes they were for no reason. So at least now there's a reason!
Some things that have not gotten better or that have even gotten worse are her fears and her transitions/flexibility issues. She seems to be scared of everything lately. She refuses to go to the bathroom by herself, or go into her bedroom by herself. She is still scared to death of bugs. She still has a hard time with transitions or doing things a different way. If we are going somewhere and we take a different route she will always notice and very often have a fit. If she gets to school even a little late and class has already started it's harder for her to peel away from us.
So today was going to be a big day! I have come to the conclusion that there's nothing wrong with Kerri. I mean that's what everyone keeps telling me. They all just keep saying she's just unique. She just has little quirks. I thought I was going to go to this appt. and the doctors were going to tell me the same thing and it would all be over! The most I was expecting was a diagnosis of OCD. I was so ready for it to be over. I had prepared myself for what they were going to say. I was ready. I could live with the fact that Kerri is just "unique" (or at most had OCD). No more doctors! No more worrying!!
WRONG!!!!!!
So we get to the appt. and the student dr comes in and asks how things have been going. I explain everything as I did above. Then the doctor came in and Kerri told her she was too loud. The doctor was in there for about 10-15 minutes and said she clearly noticed a few signs that makes her want to do another evaluation. So we go back in a couple weeks for that. The doctor also thinks that Kerri should not have ended speech services. We will decide more on that when we go for her evaluation.
So now I feel like I've gone through two extremes today....excitement to finally have this all over with and then the let down when I find out it's NOT over yet. I honestly feel like I'm starting at the beginning again, trying to convince people of what I'm seeing and what's going on, trying to deal with the worry. I am completely drained tonight. I don't even know what I think anymore.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Angels among us.........
It's been a while. I've been thinking for weeks...even months, that I need to write. I just haven't found the time. And even though I am tired, this needed to be shared.
My kids have been driving me to my breaking point the past few weeks (or months). I'm sure it has more to do with all the craziness the month of October brought this year. My kids haven't been worse than usual. I just haven't been able to handle it all as good as usual.
Let's begin with a short update.....
Bella is walking now. She had some problems sleeping for what seemed like months but was in reality probably only a month or two. So that meant I was not sleeping. Thankfully she has seemed to come out of that "phase". But it was rough.
Kerri..........thinking back at all the problems and worries that I've written about her in this blog, it seems like I'm talking about a different kid! I can not explain (or type without tearing up) the difference I've seen in her. She still has her quirks and I believe she always will be "different". But I'm not at all worried about her anymore. She has gone into this new situation of school head on with no problems at all. She loves her teachers and SHE HAS FRIENDS!!!! (She even introduced me to one of her friends the other day) We have not had to deal with a meltdown in months!
Kerri did have her tonsils and adenoids removed last month since the sleep study showed she had sleep apnea. She bounced back like it was nothing.
Lilly is still Lilly. She is loving ballet! I was a little worried about how she would do with it. She gets distracted a little easy. And I knew the class we put her in had a very serious teacher (fun but serious). Plus two of her friends are in the class with her so I just knew she would not pay attention. She completely proved me wrong. She is doing so well! I'm pretty sure this is going to be her "thing".
Connor......oh Connor........there are days when I can not wait for him to fall asleep so I can have some quiet time! He is constantly full of energy. He can talk FOREVER! Most days I love listening to him go on and on and on and on.....other days I have to make him stop talking and go to another room. He is growing up too fast. I was babysitting Parker the other day and he had on one of Connor's old shirts. I just started crying over this shirt. I don't know where the time has gone with Connor. I've always been here but I feel like I've missed so much with him. I was so young when I had him. And our situation wasn't the easiest. Even though my life has been all about him (and the girls) from day one, I feel like I didn't focus on enjoying the younger years with him as much as I should have. And sometimes I feel like I've missed my chance.
So anyway, back to the title. Like I said, my kids have been pushing me to the edge lately. It seems like they fight non stop. Sometimes I seriously think they hate each other! I never remember fighting with my sisters like this. And the disrespect that comes out of them (some more than others) blows my mind. I know I haven't taught them that this behavior is acceptable (at least I hope I haven't).
Today after school we took all 4 kids to run errands (we hardly ever do that). They were not happy. The were wound up and wild. And just to torture ourselves, we decided to take them to Arby's to eat dinner. As soon as we walked in they started in. Running around the restaurant while I was trying to order the food. Then of course Kerri has to go to the bathroom, and then Lilly does, and then Connor. Lilly takes Kerri into the womens. Connor walks two feet over to the bathroom door and decides he doesn't have to go.....he would rather stay out and run around the old lady behind us in line. Then of course the register that we were at decided not to work. The kids are playing hopscotch on the tiled floor now. I get onto them and make them come stand by us at the counter. Finally the register works and we get our cups. Getting the drinks was a sight to watch (at least I guess it was since the whole restaurant seemed to be watching us juggle getting 6 drinks). We finally get the kids settled at a table and I go up to get the ketchup. As I'm filling 6 tiny cups with ketchup I am almost shaking. I feel like everywhere we go it turns into a big circus. I constantly feel like people are staring at this big loud crazy family. While I'm standing there feeling embarrassed of my kids behavior the old lady walks up to me and says "You have a very nice little family. I had four young ones at one time. They grow up too fast." Then I watched her go to a table and sit by herself to eat her dinner.
We sat a few tables away from her. Now that I think about it, she sat where she could watch us. And she had probably been watching us the whole time while we went around the table and had each kid tell us what they wanted most for Christmas. She was finished eating way before all of us were. I seen her walk towards our table and stop at Bella. (Old people always love talking to Bella. She smiles so big at everyone.) She says hi to Bella then walks over to me and slides $5 on our table. She said "It's not much but I wanted to help out with your dinner cost a little. You have such a nice family." We tried hard to give the money back. She said "have a good Christmas." and was out the door before we could get up out of our seats.
I felt bad. While I was thinking about how crazy my kids were acting and what bad things people were thinking about me as a mother who couldn't control her kids....this little old lady was probably thinking how she would love to have her big loud crazy family like that again. I know I will miss it when it's gone :(
God knew I needed that little old lady today. I had a really bad day yesterday. I was crabby and took it out on my kids. I cried myself to sleep last night thinking about how I'm an awful mom. How every single thing I do is for my kids and I feel like they think so little of me. It seems like some one else is always better. And I just can't do anything right.
That $5 is not getting spent. It is my reminder that my kids will grow up and one day I will be that little old lady eating dinner at Arby's alone.
My kids have been driving me to my breaking point the past few weeks (or months). I'm sure it has more to do with all the craziness the month of October brought this year. My kids haven't been worse than usual. I just haven't been able to handle it all as good as usual.
Let's begin with a short update.....
Bella is walking now. She had some problems sleeping for what seemed like months but was in reality probably only a month or two. So that meant I was not sleeping. Thankfully she has seemed to come out of that "phase". But it was rough.
Kerri..........thinking back at all the problems and worries that I've written about her in this blog, it seems like I'm talking about a different kid! I can not explain (or type without tearing up) the difference I've seen in her. She still has her quirks and I believe she always will be "different". But I'm not at all worried about her anymore. She has gone into this new situation of school head on with no problems at all. She loves her teachers and SHE HAS FRIENDS!!!! (She even introduced me to one of her friends the other day) We have not had to deal with a meltdown in months!
Kerri did have her tonsils and adenoids removed last month since the sleep study showed she had sleep apnea. She bounced back like it was nothing.
Lilly is still Lilly. She is loving ballet! I was a little worried about how she would do with it. She gets distracted a little easy. And I knew the class we put her in had a very serious teacher (fun but serious). Plus two of her friends are in the class with her so I just knew she would not pay attention. She completely proved me wrong. She is doing so well! I'm pretty sure this is going to be her "thing".
Connor......oh Connor........there are days when I can not wait for him to fall asleep so I can have some quiet time! He is constantly full of energy. He can talk FOREVER! Most days I love listening to him go on and on and on and on.....other days I have to make him stop talking and go to another room. He is growing up too fast. I was babysitting Parker the other day and he had on one of Connor's old shirts. I just started crying over this shirt. I don't know where the time has gone with Connor. I've always been here but I feel like I've missed so much with him. I was so young when I had him. And our situation wasn't the easiest. Even though my life has been all about him (and the girls) from day one, I feel like I didn't focus on enjoying the younger years with him as much as I should have. And sometimes I feel like I've missed my chance.
So anyway, back to the title. Like I said, my kids have been pushing me to the edge lately. It seems like they fight non stop. Sometimes I seriously think they hate each other! I never remember fighting with my sisters like this. And the disrespect that comes out of them (some more than others) blows my mind. I know I haven't taught them that this behavior is acceptable (at least I hope I haven't).
Today after school we took all 4 kids to run errands (we hardly ever do that). They were not happy. The were wound up and wild. And just to torture ourselves, we decided to take them to Arby's to eat dinner. As soon as we walked in they started in. Running around the restaurant while I was trying to order the food. Then of course Kerri has to go to the bathroom, and then Lilly does, and then Connor. Lilly takes Kerri into the womens. Connor walks two feet over to the bathroom door and decides he doesn't have to go.....he would rather stay out and run around the old lady behind us in line. Then of course the register that we were at decided not to work. The kids are playing hopscotch on the tiled floor now. I get onto them and make them come stand by us at the counter. Finally the register works and we get our cups. Getting the drinks was a sight to watch (at least I guess it was since the whole restaurant seemed to be watching us juggle getting 6 drinks). We finally get the kids settled at a table and I go up to get the ketchup. As I'm filling 6 tiny cups with ketchup I am almost shaking. I feel like everywhere we go it turns into a big circus. I constantly feel like people are staring at this big loud crazy family. While I'm standing there feeling embarrassed of my kids behavior the old lady walks up to me and says "You have a very nice little family. I had four young ones at one time. They grow up too fast." Then I watched her go to a table and sit by herself to eat her dinner.
We sat a few tables away from her. Now that I think about it, she sat where she could watch us. And she had probably been watching us the whole time while we went around the table and had each kid tell us what they wanted most for Christmas. She was finished eating way before all of us were. I seen her walk towards our table and stop at Bella. (Old people always love talking to Bella. She smiles so big at everyone.) She says hi to Bella then walks over to me and slides $5 on our table. She said "It's not much but I wanted to help out with your dinner cost a little. You have such a nice family." We tried hard to give the money back. She said "have a good Christmas." and was out the door before we could get up out of our seats.
I felt bad. While I was thinking about how crazy my kids were acting and what bad things people were thinking about me as a mother who couldn't control her kids....this little old lady was probably thinking how she would love to have her big loud crazy family like that again. I know I will miss it when it's gone :(
God knew I needed that little old lady today. I had a really bad day yesterday. I was crabby and took it out on my kids. I cried myself to sleep last night thinking about how I'm an awful mom. How every single thing I do is for my kids and I feel like they think so little of me. It seems like some one else is always better. And I just can't do anything right.
That $5 is not getting spent. It is my reminder that my kids will grow up and one day I will be that little old lady eating dinner at Arby's alone.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
My story....9/11/2001
September 11, 2001
Missouri
19 years old
Around 9:30 am
I woke up in my dorm room at MAC. Late for class of course. I had left the radio on that night for some reason (I didn't usually do that). I heard the station talking about what had happened. I don't remember what they said. But at that point I didn't care. I really didn't even listen to it. I figured it was just the news. No big deal. So I turn on a cd and start getting ready for what was left of my day. I walk up to the college. I've missed my first 2 classes but I knew all my friends would be hanging out waiting for the lunch hour to be over. I get up to our "spot" and there was a big screen tv on with the news talking something about New York. Actually in that moment I still don't remember paying attention to the news. I remember some comments being made by some of my friends. I don't remember exactly what they were. But at that point it still wasn't a big deal to me. I remember some classes being canceled. I guess that's when I realized that "something" was going on. I still didn't know what the big deal was though. I remember sitting with my friends watching the news on the big screen. I do not remember seeing any of the scenes that I see today, although I probably did. The next thing I remember was driving to my mom's house. It had to be in the late afternoon because my mom, step dad, and sister were home from work/school. On the way there I seen cars lined up at the 7-11. The gas prices were $4.00 a gallon. THAT was the moment that I realized this was something huge and it finally hit me that this was a big deal! I get to my mom's house and they had the news on. While watching it with them that's the point when I became kind of scared and worried. But still didn't know what was REALLY going on. I still figured "well that's in New York. It really doesn't have much to do with us.". I don't remember the exact day (it wasn't long after this) that I realized how much it DID effect us. I was at a friend of mine's dorm. I remember just finding out that he had to leave (I believe he was in the Reserves). I still remember watching him ironing his uniform and getting everything ready. The next night a bunch of our friends gathered outside the dorms to tell him goodbye. I had just found out that I was pregnant with my son. So I was a little emotional anyway. But that was a hard day. And that was when I realized what happened in New York was effecting everyone everywhere.
Looking back I feel stupid. On September 10th if you had asked me where the twin towers or the pentagon were or even WHAT the were, I would have had no idea. I was in college and I couldn't really have told you what "terrorism" was. I guess I didn't pay much attention in high school. Looking back I was so oblivious to what was happening. If something like this would happen now, I would be terrified. Because now I know what this is all about. Ten years ago I believe it was a blessing to be so oblivious about it all. With being very "freshly" pregnant and only 19, I know I would have freaked out. So on one hand I wish I would have realized what was happening but on the other hand I'm glad I didn't.
Today on the 10th anniversary I do know what happened and I can not imagine what these people who lost family and friends go through. Listening to their stories breaks my heart. I still can't watch the footage of the towers falling without tearing up.
So that's my story of where I was on 9/11. It's not some heroic moment or some huge time in my life but at least now I know what was really going on and what our troops are fighting for.
Missouri
19 years old
Around 9:30 am
I woke up in my dorm room at MAC. Late for class of course. I had left the radio on that night for some reason (I didn't usually do that). I heard the station talking about what had happened. I don't remember what they said. But at that point I didn't care. I really didn't even listen to it. I figured it was just the news. No big deal. So I turn on a cd and start getting ready for what was left of my day. I walk up to the college. I've missed my first 2 classes but I knew all my friends would be hanging out waiting for the lunch hour to be over. I get up to our "spot" and there was a big screen tv on with the news talking something about New York. Actually in that moment I still don't remember paying attention to the news. I remember some comments being made by some of my friends. I don't remember exactly what they were. But at that point it still wasn't a big deal to me. I remember some classes being canceled. I guess that's when I realized that "something" was going on. I still didn't know what the big deal was though. I remember sitting with my friends watching the news on the big screen. I do not remember seeing any of the scenes that I see today, although I probably did. The next thing I remember was driving to my mom's house. It had to be in the late afternoon because my mom, step dad, and sister were home from work/school. On the way there I seen cars lined up at the 7-11. The gas prices were $4.00 a gallon. THAT was the moment that I realized this was something huge and it finally hit me that this was a big deal! I get to my mom's house and they had the news on. While watching it with them that's the point when I became kind of scared and worried. But still didn't know what was REALLY going on. I still figured "well that's in New York. It really doesn't have much to do with us.". I don't remember the exact day (it wasn't long after this) that I realized how much it DID effect us. I was at a friend of mine's dorm. I remember just finding out that he had to leave (I believe he was in the Reserves). I still remember watching him ironing his uniform and getting everything ready. The next night a bunch of our friends gathered outside the dorms to tell him goodbye. I had just found out that I was pregnant with my son. So I was a little emotional anyway. But that was a hard day. And that was when I realized what happened in New York was effecting everyone everywhere.
Looking back I feel stupid. On September 10th if you had asked me where the twin towers or the pentagon were or even WHAT the were, I would have had no idea. I was in college and I couldn't really have told you what "terrorism" was. I guess I didn't pay much attention in high school. Looking back I was so oblivious to what was happening. If something like this would happen now, I would be terrified. Because now I know what this is all about. Ten years ago I believe it was a blessing to be so oblivious about it all. With being very "freshly" pregnant and only 19, I know I would have freaked out. So on one hand I wish I would have realized what was happening but on the other hand I'm glad I didn't.
Today on the 10th anniversary I do know what happened and I can not imagine what these people who lost family and friends go through. Listening to their stories breaks my heart. I still can't watch the footage of the towers falling without tearing up.
So that's my story of where I was on 9/11. It's not some heroic moment or some huge time in my life but at least now I know what was really going on and what our troops are fighting for.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Update (well overdue!!!)
Where to start.......
Well Kerri had her sleep study done a little over a week ago. This girl never ceases to amaze me. I can not begin to explain how nervous I was. Kerri had several fits the week before anytime we even mentioned the appointment. So of course I figured there would be screaming and crying through the whole night of the test. There was a little crying when we got out of the van. But once we got into the hospital she was a perfect angel!!! I'm still not sure if she just shut down and ignored what was going on or what happened, but whatever it was, it worked! Her nurse for the night was named Charles. And he was incredible with her. He explained every single thing before he did anything. She even helped him! Every time he wold start to do something else my thought was "ok, here we go! this will be when she starts her fit.". But it never happened! From him making marks on her head, to the first wire he put on, all the way to him putting the breathing thing in her nose, she went along with it all. Now, I'm sure it helped that there was a princess movie on the tv distracting her. And it helped that PaPa and MaMa Jan were there for a while. After she was all hooked up (to everything imaginable) I had no idea how this tiny little person with wires and tubes coming from everywhere, was going to get to sleep. But she layed down and with in 5 minutes she was out like a light! Here are a couple pictures to give you an idea of what all she had on her......
She had (I think) 12 wires on her scalp, 8 wires on her face, 4 wires on her legs, 3 or 4 wires on her chest, a sticky thing (attached to a wire) under her nose, the breathing "tube thing" on her nose, and two belts around her chest/waist.
Charles came in SEVERAL times through out the night to put the nose tube back in place because he said she was all over the place. She never woke up during the night though. So the two issues that started the whole sleep study process (problems falling asleep and problems staying asleep) didn't even happen! Go figure, right? Any way, we haven't heard any results yet on it. I plan on calling the dr this week (if I can ever find the time!).
While we are talking about Kerri, she starts school tomorrow!!! YAY! She is super excited....I am super nervous! Of all my kids she has always been the one I knew I would have a hard time sending off to school. She has been through so much already and I've been with her from day one. Even for the few months she was in daycare at age 2, I was working at the daycare and 1/2 the time was her teacher. So we've never really been apart like this. Besides all her "issues" that have been discussed in previous posts, I also worry about her health. When Kerri was around 1 year old she started having frequent high fevers with no other symptoms. She seen several specialists with no results or diagnosis. Her fevers would get up to 106 for no reason (at least that's what the doctors say). She had a febrile siezure and later on had some "staring" siezures. This lasted for a little over a year. Then February 22nd, 2010 she had her last fever. She has not had even the slightest fever for 1 year and 6 months now! So I really worry about her going to school and being around all those germs again. That was one of the most frustrating times of my life and I do not want to have to go through it all again. BUT on the good side, we have an awesome pediatrician now. So I know if it happened again we would get some answers this time.
Kerri is also starting ballet/tap classes next week. She's excited to be a ballerina. I'm sure I will have pictures to share soon.
The older two started back to school 2 weeks ago. Lilly had a rough start. She was having trouble making new friends since there weren't any of her old friends in her class. But by the 3rd day she was fine.
Lilly has a lot going on right now (which means I have a lot going on too). We have girl scout meetings starting back up. She is taking ballet classes. Plus she is doing cheerleading for the junior football league. She likes to stay busy. Unlike Connor who would just rather sit at home. Lilly is more like me. She likes to have something to do. But it's my job to make sure she isn't doing too much at once, and sometimes we bump heads with that. She wants to try everything. But right now she is at her limit. Her and the other girls have a birthday party coming up in October. Their party is usually a bit bigger than Connor's parties. Because we have them together since they are all born in October. Lilly has been wanting her own party but I gave her the options and I think she has chosen to have the parties together. I'm excited about this party. This year will be the biggest yet since we now have 3 girls.
Connor is doing so well in fourth grade. We haven't had any problems at all getting homework done. (that was a HUGE issue last year) He comes home, eats snack, & does homework and chores for the most part with no problems. He had no problem getting back into the routine of school.
Connor is taking it kind of easy this fall. Our town decided not to have the soccer league this year. He was pretty disappointed. He has decided he doesn't want to continue his drum lessons (as of right now). He said the teacher only taught him songs he didn't like and he just wants to write his own songs. He said he knows what he needs to know right now in order to write his songs so he doesn't need lessons. He has decided he is going to give boy scouts one last shot though. We've had problems in the past with finding him a good leader. But we know the assistant leader from the troop he is going to join so I think we will have better luck this time around. If not, then that's it.
Bella.....oh Miss Bella.....
I could watch this baby all day long. She is the funniest little baby ever. She has an obsession with her binky...or should I say binkies. She crawls around with one in her mouth and one in each hand. When she wants to play with something, she sits the binkies down next to her and when she finished she picks them bac up and goes on. It is the funniest thing.
She has learned to pull her self up on her feet. And just this week she has started walking along the couch (only if we use her binky to get her to walk of course). She got Parker's old walker and she is all over the place in that thing!
I think that pretty much covers it for now. Hopefully it won't be long until my next post. I was just itching to get on here and write but I never have time. So even though it's after 1am and I have to be up in 5 hours, it feels good to finally get a little update done! GOODNIGHT!
Well Kerri had her sleep study done a little over a week ago. This girl never ceases to amaze me. I can not begin to explain how nervous I was. Kerri had several fits the week before anytime we even mentioned the appointment. So of course I figured there would be screaming and crying through the whole night of the test. There was a little crying when we got out of the van. But once we got into the hospital she was a perfect angel!!! I'm still not sure if she just shut down and ignored what was going on or what happened, but whatever it was, it worked! Her nurse for the night was named Charles. And he was incredible with her. He explained every single thing before he did anything. She even helped him! Every time he wold start to do something else my thought was "ok, here we go! this will be when she starts her fit.". But it never happened! From him making marks on her head, to the first wire he put on, all the way to him putting the breathing thing in her nose, she went along with it all. Now, I'm sure it helped that there was a princess movie on the tv distracting her. And it helped that PaPa and MaMa Jan were there for a while. After she was all hooked up (to everything imaginable) I had no idea how this tiny little person with wires and tubes coming from everywhere, was going to get to sleep. But she layed down and with in 5 minutes she was out like a light! Here are a couple pictures to give you an idea of what all she had on her......
Charles came in SEVERAL times through out the night to put the nose tube back in place because he said she was all over the place. She never woke up during the night though. So the two issues that started the whole sleep study process (problems falling asleep and problems staying asleep) didn't even happen! Go figure, right? Any way, we haven't heard any results yet on it. I plan on calling the dr this week (if I can ever find the time!).
While we are talking about Kerri, she starts school tomorrow!!! YAY! She is super excited....I am super nervous! Of all my kids she has always been the one I knew I would have a hard time sending off to school. She has been through so much already and I've been with her from day one. Even for the few months she was in daycare at age 2, I was working at the daycare and 1/2 the time was her teacher. So we've never really been apart like this. Besides all her "issues" that have been discussed in previous posts, I also worry about her health. When Kerri was around 1 year old she started having frequent high fevers with no other symptoms. She seen several specialists with no results or diagnosis. Her fevers would get up to 106 for no reason (at least that's what the doctors say). She had a febrile siezure and later on had some "staring" siezures. This lasted for a little over a year. Then February 22nd, 2010 she had her last fever. She has not had even the slightest fever for 1 year and 6 months now! So I really worry about her going to school and being around all those germs again. That was one of the most frustrating times of my life and I do not want to have to go through it all again. BUT on the good side, we have an awesome pediatrician now. So I know if it happened again we would get some answers this time.
Kerri is also starting ballet/tap classes next week. She's excited to be a ballerina. I'm sure I will have pictures to share soon.
The older two started back to school 2 weeks ago. Lilly had a rough start. She was having trouble making new friends since there weren't any of her old friends in her class. But by the 3rd day she was fine.
Connor is doing so well in fourth grade. We haven't had any problems at all getting homework done. (that was a HUGE issue last year) He comes home, eats snack, & does homework and chores for the most part with no problems. He had no problem getting back into the routine of school.
Bella.....oh Miss Bella.....
I could watch this baby all day long. She is the funniest little baby ever. She has an obsession with her binky...or should I say binkies. She crawls around with one in her mouth and one in each hand. When she wants to play with something, she sits the binkies down next to her and when she finished she picks them bac up and goes on. It is the funniest thing.
I think that pretty much covers it for now. Hopefully it won't be long until my next post. I was just itching to get on here and write but I never have time. So even though it's after 1am and I have to be up in 5 hours, it feels good to finally get a little update done! GOODNIGHT!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Kerri Update
Kerri went to the dr for her day two appt. on Monday. She seen a psychologist and a pediatrician who specializes in genetics. There was still no diagnosis given which I am very ok with. The pediatrician explained it the best...."It's not about getting a "diagnosis" for Kerri. Its about getting her the help she needs. Unfortunately to get her some of these services she needs a diagnosis.". This is exactly what I've been feeling this whole time. I couldn't care less what "label" they give Kerri. She's still going to be my Kerri. But that diagnosis is going to help us in getting her the help she needs and help us in understanding how to help her through her life. So even though we didn't get a whole lot of answers coming out of this appointment, I still left feeling like we were on the right road to finding the answers. I love the team of doctors who are working with her.
So anyway, the doctors she seen Monday said basically the same thing as the other doctors. They see definite behavioral issues, signs of OCD, signs of Aspergers, and sensory integration issues. We are in the process of finding some behavioral therapy for her to start.
They did some blood work for some genetics testing. Those results won't be in for a couple weeks. They are looking for anything in her genetics that may lead them to anything else. From the blood work they did find out she is anemic. So she will go to her primary dr next week to talk about taking care of that.
She will be going back in 6 months. The doctors want to see how she does over the next 6 months since she will be starting preschool in September. And also she has developed a "strange" obsession with the brain. She wants to learn about it and see it. She's very interested in it. The dr wants to see where this "obsession" goes. Since it could be a sign of Aspergers.
Oh, and the speech pathologist from her last appointment came in and told us that she had forgotten to tell us that Kerri talks with a lisp. So she will need to continue speech therapy (which we were already planning on doing).
I'm sitting here trying to remember everything that the doctors told me. It was a lot of information. Most of it was "this is what we will do if the tests show something..." "blah blah". So really nothing that pertains to right now anyway. It was just a lot of information really fast. So I feel like I'm forgetting something in there.
But anyway, I was going to write this post yesterday but I've been putting it off. I'm dealing with my own insecurities about all of this. I have a very select few friends/family members who are completely supportive about me taking Kerri to the dr for all of this. I have several friends/family/people who are not so supportive. And I think a lot of them don't even realize that they aren't being supportive. But this is a huge part of our lives right now. And sometimes whether people believe me or want to hear about it or not, I need to talk about it.
Which brings me to the point.....IT'S NOT ALL IN MY HEAD! There have been several times that I have thought it was. I thought "maybe I'm just crazy. maybe kerri is completely "normal" and I'm just looking for something to be wrong like some people think". But let me tell you this...these are very highly qualified doctors and professionals that are agreeing with me now. So what do I say to that? Tell them they are all crazy??? I'm so tired of telling people about what is going on with Kerri and getting looked at like I'm crazy! There is obviously something. We don't know exactly what yet. But I will find out so that we can help her.
I'm so sick of people saying "she's just a 'normal' 3 year old". It is not normal for a child to pull her hair out and bite herself. It is not normal for a 3 year old to scream and hide in the other room when I vacuum. It is not normal for a 2 YEAR OLD to look at a poster of a heart in the doctor's office and say "look mommy, that's a heart". It is not normal for a 3 year old to not want to play with other kids her age. Yes, it is normal for 3 year olds to have tantrums, but not for an hour to 2 hours straight! (and just because you have never witnessed one does not mean they don't happen. it just means you are lucky).
I'm just so tired of people thinking they "know" Kerri. I am almost to the point where I'm done telling people anything about any of it. But I do know that there are those few people that have been so great listening to me when I need to talk about it. And those giving me advise. And even those going through the same thing. And that's why I keep sharing, for those people who DO believe and who do care. Thank you.
So anyway, the doctors she seen Monday said basically the same thing as the other doctors. They see definite behavioral issues, signs of OCD, signs of Aspergers, and sensory integration issues. We are in the process of finding some behavioral therapy for her to start.
They did some blood work for some genetics testing. Those results won't be in for a couple weeks. They are looking for anything in her genetics that may lead them to anything else. From the blood work they did find out she is anemic. So she will go to her primary dr next week to talk about taking care of that.
She will be going back in 6 months. The doctors want to see how she does over the next 6 months since she will be starting preschool in September. And also she has developed a "strange" obsession with the brain. She wants to learn about it and see it. She's very interested in it. The dr wants to see where this "obsession" goes. Since it could be a sign of Aspergers.
Oh, and the speech pathologist from her last appointment came in and told us that she had forgotten to tell us that Kerri talks with a lisp. So she will need to continue speech therapy (which we were already planning on doing).
I'm sitting here trying to remember everything that the doctors told me. It was a lot of information. Most of it was "this is what we will do if the tests show something..." "blah blah". So really nothing that pertains to right now anyway. It was just a lot of information really fast. So I feel like I'm forgetting something in there.
But anyway, I was going to write this post yesterday but I've been putting it off. I'm dealing with my own insecurities about all of this. I have a very select few friends/family members who are completely supportive about me taking Kerri to the dr for all of this. I have several friends/family/people who are not so supportive. And I think a lot of them don't even realize that they aren't being supportive. But this is a huge part of our lives right now. And sometimes whether people believe me or want to hear about it or not, I need to talk about it.
Which brings me to the point.....IT'S NOT ALL IN MY HEAD! There have been several times that I have thought it was. I thought "maybe I'm just crazy. maybe kerri is completely "normal" and I'm just looking for something to be wrong like some people think". But let me tell you this...these are very highly qualified doctors and professionals that are agreeing with me now. So what do I say to that? Tell them they are all crazy??? I'm so tired of telling people about what is going on with Kerri and getting looked at like I'm crazy! There is obviously something. We don't know exactly what yet. But I will find out so that we can help her.
I'm so sick of people saying "she's just a 'normal' 3 year old". It is not normal for a child to pull her hair out and bite herself. It is not normal for a 3 year old to scream and hide in the other room when I vacuum. It is not normal for a 2 YEAR OLD to look at a poster of a heart in the doctor's office and say "look mommy, that's a heart". It is not normal for a 3 year old to not want to play with other kids her age. Yes, it is normal for 3 year olds to have tantrums, but not for an hour to 2 hours straight! (and just because you have never witnessed one does not mean they don't happen. it just means you are lucky).
I'm just so tired of people thinking they "know" Kerri. I am almost to the point where I'm done telling people anything about any of it. But I do know that there are those few people that have been so great listening to me when I need to talk about it. And those giving me advise. And even those going through the same thing. And that's why I keep sharing, for those people who DO believe and who do care. Thank you.
Friday, July 22, 2011
If I didn't have kids...
If I didn't have kids, I'd still fit in my jeans. I would get to watch what I wanted to watch on TV. I would get to make whatever I wanted for dinner without worrying about someone whining "I don't like that!".
If I didn't have kids, my closet would be fuller, my bank account would be fuller, my bed would be EMPTY, my house would be clean, my belly would be flatter, my house would be quieter, my car would be smaller.
If I didn't have kids, my baths would be longer, my showers would be hotter, my mornings would be later, my dinners would be warmer, my naps would be longer.
BUT....................................................................................................
If I didn't have kids I wouldn't know who Spongebob is. I wouldn't know that Justin Bieber is "the hottest boy ever". I would have no idea how to speak Spanish (thanks to Dora the Explorer). I would still think the Naked Brothers Band was a band of naked brothers.
If I didn't have kids I wouldn't have learned about spaghetti tacos. I would have never known that ketchup could be used on EVERYTHING.
If I didn't have kids my my closet may be fuller but I wouldn't have a cute little voice to tell me "Mommy, you look beautiful like me." (Kerri)
If I didn't have kids my car might be smaller but my car rides wouldn't be nearly as entertaining!
If I didn't have kids my mornings might be later but I wouldn't have cute little faces waking me up. Or little bodies cuddling up in bed with me.
If I didn't have kids my dinners may be warmer but I wouldn't get to hear about the favorite/worst parts of my kids' day.
If I didn't have kids my naps may be longer but my dreams would be shorter.
I've been called a lot of things, but my favorite is "Mom".
If I didn't have kids, my closet would be fuller, my bank account would be fuller, my bed would be EMPTY, my house would be clean, my belly would be flatter, my house would be quieter, my car would be smaller.
If I didn't have kids, my baths would be longer, my showers would be hotter, my mornings would be later, my dinners would be warmer, my naps would be longer.
BUT....................................................................................................
If I didn't have kids I wouldn't know who Spongebob is. I wouldn't know that Justin Bieber is "the hottest boy ever". I would have no idea how to speak Spanish (thanks to Dora the Explorer). I would still think the Naked Brothers Band was a band of naked brothers.
If I didn't have kids I wouldn't have learned about spaghetti tacos. I would have never known that ketchup could be used on EVERYTHING.
If I didn't have kids my my closet may be fuller but I wouldn't have a cute little voice to tell me "Mommy, you look beautiful like me." (Kerri)
If I didn't have kids my car might be smaller but my car rides wouldn't be nearly as entertaining!
If I didn't have kids my mornings might be later but I wouldn't have cute little faces waking me up. Or little bodies cuddling up in bed with me.
If I didn't have kids my dinners may be warmer but I wouldn't get to hear about the favorite/worst parts of my kids' day.
If I didn't have kids my naps may be longer but my dreams would be shorter.
I've been called a lot of things, but my favorite is "Mom".
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