Yes I'm pregnant again. #5! After reading many birth stories online I was inspired to write mine.
When I was 19 I got pregnant with my first child. Being so young, I had no idea of my options and choices during childbirth. I went to the doctor my mom, step mom and sisters went to. I let everyone make my choices for me. When I was 20 years old, on the way to my younger sister's high school graduation, I went into labor while in rush hour traffic. I never took a child birthing class or anything like that. I knew nothing! I never remember my doctor even explaining anything to me.
I remember walking the halls trying to get labor to progress. I remember a VERY painful back labor. Labor started at about 4pm on a Friday and I had my son the next morning. I remember almost nothing about my labor. I do remember the intense pain. I remember being completely exhausted. Then I vaguely remember the doctor coming in telling me I he had to do an emergency c-section. People that were there say it was because the baby's heart stopped. I honestly have no idea what happened. I don't remember seeing my son for the first time or even holding him. I don't remember who was there. It was not at all what I thought child birth was suppose to be like.
Fast forward 2 years later I was pregnant again. Again I was young and still didn't know my options. And no one informed me either! I was never told I could choose a VBAC. I had no idea what that even was. So of course I did the only thing I knew, I went to the same doctor and had a repeat c-section. He never once informed me of any other option. In fact I remember exactly what he said "we will do another c-section since you've already had one". I had no reason to question him. So when I was 22 I had my second c-section.
Three years later it was time for another baby! By this time I was a bit more informed (only due to my own research). I ordered books and read up on having a VBAC. When I brought it up to my doctor (the same one) I was shot down. I was told it wasn't an option. So I believed him. And was talked out of it. I actually went into labor at 37 weeks with this one. And when I was 25 I had my third c-section.
And then another three years go by. It was time for baby #4. She was a complete surprise. I didn't even bother thinking about a VBAC. I didn't look into it at all. Which I do regret. And then when I was 28 I had my fourth c-section.
Now here I am at 31 (yes i actually just gave my real age) and I am faced with a 5th c-section. I have done tons of reading online about a VBAMC (vaginal delivery after multiple c-sections). I've also read a lot about the risks that come with having yet another c-section. So now I'm scared to do either! I wish the baby could just appear! Now I know that's not possible. So I have to make a decision. So far I have no one on my side for a VBAC. But then again I don't think they understand the risks of another c-section. I would LOVE to not have another c-section. This is our last and it may be selfish but I want the child birth experience. And I know if I don't try it then I will regret it. But if someone can show me that another c-section is the safest option without a doubt then that's obviously what I will choose. But from what I'm reading there are risks either way. And I understand that even if I try a VBAC that it may end up in another c-section. I'm ok with that. At least I would have tried.
So, now any advise, concerns, suggestions are welcome. I am also trying to find a different doctor. I want one who is more concerned about my wants than his/hers. I want someone who explains my options to me and supports me in what ever decision I make.
