I've had a lot on my mind. Very few people know that we recently found out that Kerri may have signs of Autism. Anyone who knows her, knows she is "different". And I don't mean different in a bad way. She is the most entertaining of all my kids. I could sit and watch her for hours. It's like her mind is always going full force. I find myself watching her and wondering just what is going on in her little head. But that side of her also comes with the "bad" side. Her meltdowns stress me out. She is so particular about everything. At times it is kind of funny. Other times it is frustrating, like when I'm trying to cook dinner, Bella is crying, Connor and Lilly are fighting, and Kerri is sitting at my feet having a meltdown because she thinks a tiny little skirt should be able to fit on her big toy. It does not make sense to her that the skirt is too small and there is no way for me to make it fit.
So I have been contemplating our choices on what to do for her. Should I take her to her primary dr? Should we look for other resources? Should we just play the "wait and see" game? I have been researching this disorder a lot in the past week. I've looked into it a little in the past because I have had my "secret" concerns about it with her. The more I read, the more I worry. Because she sounds a lot like a child on the Autism Spectrum. Getting her a diagnosis would mean being able to get the resources she needs to get through this. And NOT getting a diagnosis (meaning they find she isn't autistic) might make me stop worrying. I'm not worried about the diagnosis. Because in all reality it's not going to change a whole lot (besides her being able to get help). I have delt with her behavior for the past 3 years, I'm not worried about not being able to handle her because I can. One thing I do worry about though is how this is going to effect her in the long run. Right now it's managable. But when she gets in school how are others going to look at her and how is being "different" going to make her feel? One of my other big concerns is what will the treatment be? I refuse to medicate her unless at some point in the future me and Zack agree that it's nessessary. But these things that send up red flags are the same things that make Kerri who she is. I wonder how much the treatment would change her. Now I could easily say no to treatment or even a diagnosis and just forget it all. BUT as I stated before, how would this disorder effect her in the future, especially if it's left untreated.
In the past week I have found myself watching her more. I have also found that I have gained a new kind of patience with her (as with the rest of my kids) this week. I think some people have looked at me as being too soft on my kids. Or not disciplining them "correctly" or enough. But no one knows the whole story of our life. It's easy for someone at the store to see Kerri having one of her meltdowns and think "that mom needs to take charge" but what they don't see or know is that you can't touch Kerri when she's like that. Touching her or trying to calm her down usually makes it worse. Like today I had all 4 kids in Walmart (by myself). This lady walks by and sees me stopped in the middle of the aisle with Lilly and Kerri both crying. She makes some ignorant comment which upset Connor so then I have 3 crying kids. What the lady DIDN'T see was, while we were walking in the door the girls were holding hands, skipping along and some how Kerri's head bumped Lilly's mouth and nose which caused a small nosebleed and a busted lip. So I put Kerri in the cart (where she sat and screamed for the rest of our shopping trip). That lady didn't understand why I just put her in the cart and was basically ignoring her. But that's what needed to be done. I just want to scream "she's not like your kid!!! She's has issues!!!!" Cause in all honesty, whether she has autism or not, she IS a difficult and unique child.
So now that I've rambled enough.....Kerri does have an appointment with her primary dr on tuesday. Not sure how well that will go since we are getting ready to switch her dr in a couple months anyway due to this doctor's laziness. But I guess it's a start!
Hey Barbie! As I read this post, it reminded me so much of what my sister-in-law Kerry has gone through with her son Denver(almost 5 yr old). He was diagnosed as being somewhere in the Autism spectrum. I believe it was PDD-NOS. (Google it and see if it sounds like what you see in Kerri.) He is a very bright child and can learn quickly, but struggles in certain areas and especially has difficulty in social settings. He does not like change. Kerry had had to deal with her share of comments from strangers as well when Denver would have a break down in public.
ReplyDeleteYou know Kerri better than anyone else. Follow your "mama" instinct and ignore the rest of the world. :)
I sure hope you get the answers you need. Getting a diagnosis will definitely help you seek out the best ways to teach her and help her understand the things that she struggles to grasp.
Also, just to encourage you some....Denver was 3 when they diagnosed him. He is turning 5 next month and has made considerable progress. It's not always obvious that some children deal with forms of autism unless you are with them regularly.
Just keep pressing on and lean on Jesus for your strength each day. :) (((HUGS!)))
Love & Prayers from your cousin, Susie
Thank you so much Susie! That is actually the form of autism I believe she has (if she has it). Some days I have such awesome patience with her and other days I have such incredible frustration cause I just don't understand what she wants sometimes and she doesn't seem to understand what I'm saying.
ReplyDeleteI have a nephew with Asberger's syndrome (a form of autism). He is 10 now and has recently been diagnosed. Regretably I was one of the "outsiders" who considered my sister "soft" and a "push-over". once I heard what was going on with his diagnosis I realized what a monstrous mistake i had been making. So many people can look as someone else and judge but i say they should take a look at their own lives, you know they're not perfect. My sister has done a great job supporting her son and finding the resources he needs to succeed in life. His diagnosis was so late that he struggled alot with school (and still does but they're on the right track). Only you know your kids like a Mom does. Everybody else can just butt out.
ReplyDeleteHave you considered a gluten-free diet? (although that may make no difference in the ocd. I'm not a dr, just a mom like you. I will have to write more later b/c I'm on my way to work, but I have heard so many good things about a gluten free diet, (yeah, I know that can't be easy b/c it is hard enough to get them to eat what u fix now!) Lol! Love your blog, btw! -Becky Hendrix
ReplyDeleteThanks! I have been reading about the gluten free diet. It seems complicated but my husband and I are considering it.
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